Shots from The Battery

I apologize for the two-week blackout, folks. I’ve been insanely busy. Work, school, etc. simultaneously ganged up on me for a bit. Besides being peak season at the office, I’ve written over 50 pages of various papers, projects, and essays in the past few weeks. So much for Summer classes being easier — it’s just less time to complete everything. I’ll probably think twice about the full-time Summer session next year. The good news is that save studying for 2 remaining tests and finals, I’ve finished the bulk of my classwork for the semester.

Anyhow, we were on our way out the door to the Cinebarre last night(a whole other post) when the phone rang.

It was our friend Charlie from Columbia on his cell.

Charlie said he was with another friend, Tim, and that someone wanted to say hello.

The phone shuffled for a second or two, and another voice came on.

“Hi Nate. This is Glenn Beck. You know you’re missing a wonderful dinner here in Columbia.”
Read the rest of this entry →

As you may have noticed, we’ve been a little too busy with the holiday & midterm tests to keep pace with our regular updates, but this little gem from my email box demanded a posting.

You can read more about the outing of our state and the “so gay” tourism campaign here, here, or here.

We somehow managed to spend our entire stimulus rebate without spending a dime on pornography… which is a damn shame. What were we thinking??? Our silly oversight was a total waste of our governmental freesources.

Honestly, though, we were probably too busy making our own porn with the uber-fun sex swing that GW bought for us in May.

Do not fret, though. The industry is doing well even without our patronage, looks like the rest of you perverts were making up for our porno purchasing slackitude:

An independent market-research firm, AIMRCo (Adult Internet Market Research Company), has discovered that many websites focused on adult or erotic material have experienced an upswing in sales in the recent weeks since checks have appeared in millions of Americans’ mailboxes across the country.

To apologize for our transgression, we’re budgeting in at least 10% exclusively for porn the next time we get all economically stimulated by Uncle Sam.

Praise Pasta! We can prostelitize Pastafarian prophecy with our plastic now. While we wish his blessed interest rate was a little less Almighty, Our Saucy Lord will soon make His noodly presence known to all who swipe him:

Sample of our Cap-One card-lab Mastercard.

R-Amen.

Breathe!

Summer semester is chugging right along, and as of yesterday, we’re half-way there. Our healthy competition with the GPA’s will have to continue after the holiday — we’re still rocking a pair of 4.0’s with nary a fuxup between us yet.

We’ve a short break this week, and we’re headed away from the annual glut of tourists clogging the roads down here. Last Summer, the 4th of July weekend was nothing but gridlock. Even getting over to the damn grocery store 3 blocks away was a nightmare… not very holiday-ish, if you ask us. So, we’re gonna celebrate our freedom someplace where we can actually move freely.

When we return next week, it’s back to the grind-stone for another 40 days or so, and then the fall semester begins. I have a feeling this next year is going to fly by.

Anyhow, we’ll have the laptops and wireless access, so we’ll try to throw up some posts from our mini-vacation.

Little more than a year after his death, one of my grandfather’s famous custom knives has been recognized by Field and Stream as one of the best 20 knives ever made:

# 14. George Herron Model 6 Drop Point
George Herron began in the early 1960s as a Randall imitator, changed over to Loveless-style knives, and eventually developed a style of his own - which is imitated by everyone. What Herron brought to the game besides practicality was immaculate workmanship and a matchless eye for lines. The Model 6 is Herron’s version of the drop-point hunter. You can see the Loveless influence, but the Model 6 is slimmer and far more graceful. While the quality of Loveless’s work has varied, there’s never been a Herron knife that wasn’t perfect.

My model 6 and leather sheath are serial-numbered 1998, and were a surprise graduation gift. While the 6 is probably his most famous style, I’m partial to the “Little Dude” model, mainly because he named it after me shortly after my birth in 1980. It’s true that he was a perfectionist, too. Even after a 6-pack of Coors, his hands were more steady than mine will ever be. I thought he was a human machine as a boy.

The man did not like dogs, though… especially strays. Those who followed the podcast may remember the story of Di’s horrific first Thanksgiving at his house.

Gramp’s been on several F&S covers since the 70’s, and his knives are selling on eBay for thousands apiece these days. As a teen, he once told me that the collectors had more money than sense, and after seeing the prices skyrocket in recent years, I think he was probably right.

Anyhow, I’m sure he would’ve snorted loudly and chuckled at this article.

But on the bright side:

At least we’re rapidly nearing the end of this nightmare.

Damn. That’s a lot of D’s — and who knew Darwin even had relatives here in SC?

The Post and Courier is reporting that Charles Darwin’s kin are soon to be amongst us. The family is apparently holding a big reunion here in Charleston this weekend, and one of CD’s distant relatives (also named Charles) actually lives in Gaffney. Our Chuck D, who used to run a roller rink and restaurant here in town, told Brian Hicks that evolution probably won’t be discussed much when all of the relatives get together. SC CD also claims he’s a creationist and evolutionist. That’s interesting that he’s resolved the two, we think more Christians should. It’s similar to biologist Ken Miller’s perspective, and certainly less obtuse than the anti-science biblical literalism faction.

Either way, we’d love to be flies on the wall when they gather en masse.

At a time when the Bush administration and all of their buddies are running around saber-rattling about dropping new oil wells, this little car could be the coolest thing we’ve ever seen. It can maintain a speed of 50 mph for 1 hour on just 1 liter of WATER! The inventors claim it can also be fueled with tea, rain, or saltwater:

We realize the technology is a few years from being seen on the street, but it’s a major step in the right direction. It’s also sad that more innovation like this isn’t being fostered and unveiled here in the US. Instead, the Bush administration and energy lobbyists are pushing to allow more domestic drilling. We heard a guest on Dan Abram’s show appropriately compare that to “searching through our couches for loose change because the mortgage is 6 moths past-due.” Instead of embracing new technology or actual ways to reduce fossil fuel consumption, they are pushing for more of the same — more oil, more prospecting opportunities for their allies, more no-bid contracts to Exxon and Shell to run oil operations in Iraq — it should be criminal. We suppose it’s also to be expected when the energy industry is allowed to write our Nation’s energy policy.

And last week, McCain flip-flopped on offshore drilling. He obviously wants more of the same, too… thankfully, the $4/gal gas we’ve seen under the Republican energy policy is going to kill his already dismal chances of winning the election this fall.

When history is written, we’re increasingly hopeful that BushCheneyCo’s collusion with big oil is gonna make teapot dome look like a big ol’ tea party.

But by then, we’ll probably be using our tea in the water-car!

Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits…

Heart Failure has claimed the second NaD hero in as many weeks.

1 jerk in a SUV + 1 SC “In God We Trust” license plate(complete with obligatory Jesus-fish decal) + the probability of appropriate letter combinations = the hardest laugh we’ve had in weeks!!!

The dude in this SUV closely cut us off near an intersection on our way to Baskin Robbins and when we stopped at the light he was oogling us angrily as if we were the offending party. Then Di noticed his plate!! I’m pretty sure he didn’t know what to think when we started cackling like loons and snapping pictures of his holy-rollin’ gas guzzler. When the light changed, he squealed off to torment other motorists and we went on to get our ice cream with ear-to-ear smiles on each of our faces.

As expected, the first lawsuit about those silly “I Believe” tags has been filed.

I really wish we could sue the fundegelical state lawmakers who are forcing us taxpayers to bear the burden of the litigation they knew they were inviting. It’s a waste of $$ that the state taxpayers cannot afford.

The Lt. Gov. is already beating his chest, so we think he should be listed first in our lawsuit:

For those who say this violates the Constitution by giving preference to Christianity, I think this lawsuit clearly discriminates against persons of faith,” Bauer said in a statement Thursday. “I expect the state Attorney General to vigorously defend this and it is time that people stand up for their beliefs. Enough is enough.”

A creationist science teacher in Ohio, John Freshwater, has been burning crosses into the arms of his students.

A Mount Vernon teacher undermined science instruction in the public school district by discrediting evolution in his classroom and focusing on creationism and intelligent design, a probe has found.

Eighth-graders who were taught by John Freshwater frequently had to be re-taught in high school what they were supposed to have learned in Freshwater’s class, according to outside investigators hired by the district.

For 11 years, other teachers in the school district and people in the community complained about Freshwater preaching his Christian beliefs in class and slamming scientific theories, a school administrator told investigators.

The report confirms that Freshwater burned crosses onto students’ arms, using an electrostatic device, in December. Freshwater told investigators the marks were Xs, not crosses. But all of the students interviewed in the investigation reported being branded with crosses. The investigation report includes a photo of one student’s arm with a long vertical line and a short horizontal line running through it.

This went on for 11 years, and nobody bothered to do more than slap his wrists?! Normally I would ask how much “learning time” was taken up by his little electrostatic student artwork projects, but in this case I think any amount of time this guy spent off task was to the benefit of his students.

One of Freshwater’s friends* defended his actions:

“With the exception of the cross-burning episode … I believe John Freshwater is teaching the values of the parents in the Mount Vernon school district,’’ he said.

So this guy thinks that as long as his pal isn’t defacing the students, that ignoring edicts to stop teaching lies in his classroom is perfectly ok. Well isn’t that nice of him to make that decision for the rest of the taxpayers in his area.

The fact that no corrective action was taken by the school board before lawyers got involved is disturbing. The man was teaching religion in his science class, he had the ten commandments posted in his classroom window, he kept his bible on his desk, and he physically harmed the kids in his classroom. This should have been an open and shut case, and somehow it took 11 years for them to figure out that something needed to be done about this wackaloon?! And Nate and I thought our school board was bad…

For a detailed report on how far this guy went, check out this independent investigation.

*An earlier version of this post incorrectly attributed this quote to a school board member.

***UPDATE***

There’s still some sanity left in the country. They’re going to fire him.
(Shot at Rick at Shrimp and Grits for the tip)

The next time we complain about the traffic here in Mount Pleasant, we will remember that the extra 5 minute wait to get where we’re going is nothing compared to effect that same traffic to which we’re contributing has upon those whose livelihood and culture are bisected by our highways.

We were in Aiken during the screening at Spoleto a couple of weeks ago, but our DVR snagged the premiere of this highly-anticipated local documentary Thursday evening. During a break from the Russert eulogies all over the news, we watched it last night.

“Bin Yah: There’s No Place Like Home” focuses on the effects of the recent explosive commercial and residential expansion in Mount Pleasant on the Gullah-Geechee people that have owned large portions of land here for more than 140 years.

Great documentaries do not only tell a story, they tell a story that needs to be told. In that respect, it’s probably one of the best indie docs we’ve ever seen.

What do you do when countless droves of ‘foreigners’ descend upon the land your people have owned and lived on for generations? “Bin Yah”(translated “Been Here”) does it’s best to explore the answers to this and other questions with which these people have been faced as we “Come Yahs” gobble up their very identity. The 56 minute film carefully details the historical distribution of local land after the Civil War, the freedmen who purchased the tracks that eventually became many of the black communities in the area, and the subsequent development of encroaching property that threatens to destroy their culture.

We’ve all seen the sweetgrass basket-maker’s shacks that dot Hwy 17 from the 4 Mile community near the massive Towne Center mall to the 7 mile community near Park West. At some point, most of us have even stopped to browse the living art galleries and purchase some of these coveted pieces of history. We did not, however, fully understand their story or the implications of our mere presence.

Di and I have noticed a marked decline in the number of the basket shacks in recent years, and many others sit abandoned and deteriorating today. The movie certainly goes a long way in explaining the reasons for this. Besides being taxed out of the land by the exponential increase in property values caused by development, the roadway expansion and widening on 17 has made it impossible for them to even cross the street to get to the places where they earned a living for decades. Add to those things the loss of traditional sweetgrass harvesting sites in the local creeks and marshes to gated communities, and you have a systemic devastation of an entire culture. The director included some telling aerial views of the Weeds-esque “little boxes” of the Park West and Dunes West communities that say a lot more than any of the interviews ever will.

In fact, the movie more or less made us want to move away from Mt P. even though we live on property that’s been developed for half a century.

We meet some of these people from time to time in our business, and they are some of the most honest, caring, genuine people you will ever meet. Unfortunately, their days are increasingly numbered, and they’re being driven to North Charleston or areas further away from the coast.

Realistically, the most this film may do is document this sad, unnecessary, greed-driven upheaval. As the Bin Yah website states, “Bin Yah will attempt to preserve - at least on film - the memories of the special places that may be lost forever as the struggle between the real “bin yahs” and the “come yahs” escalates.”

So whether you’re local to Mt. Pleasant or simply like a good documentary, we highly recommend purchasing the DVD here.

If things continue the way they have, our only memories of these people may be documentaries like this and the slew of historical markers already posted on that swollen stretch of Hwy. 17.

Wow.

Di’s tearing up and I’m not feeling much better after reading the front page of MSNBC.

One of our favorite news personalities died suddenly this afternoon. Tim Russert was among the few TV newsmen we trust and respect, and the void he leaves is going to be hard to fill.

It’s just sinking in, but I really am going to miss seeing him on Sunday mornings and his commentary on NBC and MSNBC. He was actually taping voice-overs for Meet the Press when he collapsed.

The race and election night in November are going to be missing an important fixture now.

Ok. We’re closing the office and going home to watch the reactions…

Did you purposely wait until 45 days after we signed a 2 year contract with Verizon on both of our phones to announce a faster, cooler, CHEAPER iPhone?

2 weeks earlier and I could have eeked our way out of them. Timing, Sir, is everything. Why all the vague rumory? You could have at least hinted you were considering HALVING the price.

Hell… we even considered canceling the new Verizon phones anyway when we heard the news yesterday… but the cost of early termination + the $199.00 for the new iPhizzles would cost us more than when you were charging inflated prices for the 1st models last year.

On the bright side, considering the precipitous price droppages and hardware improvements over the past year, by the time our new contract is up the iPhone will surely be free and powerful enough to drive the car.

With our daily high temps already reaching into the high 90’s, no discernible wind, and humidity at 60%+, it feels like it’s 110 or 115 degrees outside. I broke a drenching sweat just walking to the car this morning - and that was before 9 AM.

The worst part is that it’s only the beginning of June and Summer isn’t even officially on us yet. We don’t normally see the Lowcountrry reach hell-on-earth levels until early to mid-August.

Hell apparently came early this year. Do they even have a groundhog for predicting this shit? Fuck no! Punxsutawney Phil has probably already been incinerated anyways - I just read that the heat in Pennsylvania is forcing school closures in Philly because they don’t even have AC in many of them.

Inside the house, our fairly new central AC is running full-tilt but is still struggling to keep the temps below 80. Today, it started raining from the ceiling vents because of condensation caused by the crazy-high humidity. I didn’t even use the hot water heater for the shower this morning. The cold water position on the knob felt like someone had maliciously switched our hot and cold pipes.

As the day wears on, it’s gotten too friggin’ hot to even think, and the palpable moisture in the air is only making it worse. I’ve been forced to shut down almost all of the computers and electronics in the house to prevent overheating. That’s a first. The desktop in the study was on overheat alarm and was about to shut itself down when the heat peaked at around 1PM.

So now, I’m sitting here almost naked and the only reason I’m even wearing underwear is to keep my ass-sweat from permanently adhering me to the leather of this chair.

Our Lord the Sauced One, The Flying Spaghetti Monster, will be coming to your local SC DMV office very soon.

The Governor refused to sign the Christian “I Believe” license plate bill, but still allowed it to become law by shelving a veto:

While I do, in fact, ‘believe’ — it is my personal view that the largest proclamation of one’s faith ought to be in how one lives one’s life … If God is working in one’s life, (that) will say what no license plate will ever say.”

— Gov. Mark Sanford

We hope FSM will rain Prego and Ragu on Columbia for this blasphemous slight.

Either way, His Noodliness now patiently awaits recognition on our ride.

(A shot to Brother Snead for that awesome plate rendering.)

Comcast’s drivers apparently suck as much as their internet service:

Dude must’ve been in such a tunnel-visioned hurry to bite into his Big Mac that he drove right into the gigantic ditch in front of the McDonald’s in Mt. P.

Arthur Ravenel has been denounced by fellow members of the Charleston School Board for showing his ass last week, and guess who was with A. Rav. while he threw said vulgar hissyfit? None other than our least favorite local politician:

Board Vice Chairwoman Nancy Cook, who also was with Ravenel and Toler at the time of the remarks, was not at the board meeting. Like Toler, Cook said again on Tuesday that she never heard Ravenel use the word “bitch.” She said she didn’t want to talk about what was said at the board meeting because she wasn’t there.

Looks like an outbreak of foot-in-mouth disease is running rampant over on our school board.

We suggest a quarantine for them before they infect others.

Of all the pressing issues facing our state school system, I’m not sure why a statement from the Superintendent about training teachers how not to fuck or otherwise abuse the students should be a main focus on the front page of the SC Dept. of Education website. Is this really one of the biggest problems facing public education in our state?

Crap like this just fuels the false perception that there’s an epidemic of that type of inexcusable behavior in our schools… I mean, we understand the point of the program and it sounds like a reasonable effort. It’s just that the quote featured right on the homepage doesn’t really send a positive message about our school system to visitors or teachers - be they Sandlappers or otherwise.

We hate to nudge the brakes just as the blog gets rolling along again, but our posts will probably be fairly sparse through the next month or so (along with teevee, aimless web surfing and about every other time-kill to which I’m addicted). Our classes began yesterday, and I can already tell it’s going to curtail my ability to keep the blog’s pace at what it’s been for the past few months.

Anyhow, we have a few posts in the hopper already scheduled to drop, so there will be some activity and new content, and we hope to be back online full-force during the summer break in the first week of July.

Flatbread


BBQ Suace


Leftover Home-made BBQ


4 Cheese Fancy Grated Cheese



Tasty BBQ Pizzas

Cooking

Ready To Eat

A shot to the Neelys, who gave us the idea on Down Home on the Food Network awhile back.

Notice the vertical white object on the surface just below the horizon on the right-center portion of the image:

Our crack team of image analysts have produced this enhanced view:

Strange… we expected a Snow Trooper.

We bought a couple of nice desks and chairs for an unused area of our living room last Tuesday night. After we finally got it all here and in place, we decided to rearrange the room a bit to even out the distribution of furniture in the area in which we spend most of our waking time.

This is where we met a challenge that we did not expect or initially understand.

George, our tiny chihuahua, went on strike because we moved her house across the room to the opposite wall. I thought she’d like having her house between the desks next to us - but I had no idea how wrong I was.

She’s proud of her digs and it’s generally where she spends most of her time. It’s more of a doggy condo, actually, complete with stairs and a second level for her toys and chewies. She pranced so happily when we brought it home last year as she explored every nook and cranny.

Anyhow, by strike, I mean exactly that. Her normally perky ears drooped and her tail curled under her legs. She wouldn’t come when called and staged a lengthy protest to mommy by kicking her back feet next to her chair for an hour. It was late, so we figured we’d go to bed and she’d be fine on Wednesday morning. We were wrong.

She continued to pout and protest through Friday, refusing to go near it or even retrieve her toys from upstairs. Saturday I found her curled up in a corner of the couch looking so pitiful that I had to finally find some way to appease her. She was crying. Literally crying. So we sat down and talked about it. She seemed to understand the large shelf that stood in the footprint of her former location was not going to move, but her ears perked up a bit when I pointed at the bottom shelf and asked her if she wanted me to move her bed there. I sensed she understood and approved, and decided the compromise was worth it. So I got up, pulled it from inside her house, and put it on the shelf with little George jumping and licking my ankles and calves all the way across the room. She was in the bed before I was able to stand up straight.

Guess it was the view she missed.

She immediately went across the room, climbed upstairs on her house and got a golf ball, which she brought over and deposited at my feet. A golf ball for a shelf… a fair bargain for a happy puppy.

Anyhow, George has completely returned to her normal tail-waggin’, toy playing, tongue-waving self, and she’s been passed out from a busy morning of play as I typed this.